Dear Angel

Dear Angel,

I will never forget the warm Friday in July 1999 when I drove to San Francisco on Lyon street and picked you up. You were the last tiny puppy in the small bathroom the breeder kept you in. You were literally about 3 lbs. You had a lazy eye and I thought it was adorable. Immediately when I held you I knew your name was Angel. I took you to Petco and bought all the purple stuff I could. Purple bed, purple collar and purple tiny bowls. We drove straight to Sacramento for the weekend. On the ride home the following Sunday evening, you were whining (like all puppies do) and the only place you were happy was if I was holding you close to my heart, so I did. I held you like that the entire 2 hour drive home and never once wanted to put you down.

I am sorry. I am sorry I ever yelled at you to get out of my way. I am sorry I ever poked at you to stop snoring. I am sorry sometimes I was just too tired to give you a belly rub. I am sorry I ever got to busy to walk you and I am sorry things had to end for you too soon. Most of all, I am sorry I was the person who had to choose that for you.

Thank you for giving me nothing but your affection and love when I needed it the most. Thank you for being the best cuddler there ever was. Thank you for having a cute little snort when you took a deep breath. Thank you for being so funny and making me laugh. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for trusting me to take care of you. Thank you for choosing me to share your life with.

I hope now you can see again. I hope now you can run without being scared. I hope wherever you are, you are happy. I hope you have found peace because I know the last few months have been hard on you.

I promise to think of you everyday. I promise to never replace you. You were not just a dog, you were my best friend and I promise I will find you when I get there.

I Love You,
Carmen

Birthday Kid Funny

While at a Christmas dinner at Auntie Sue and Uncle Seb's house we were talking about how hard it is to shop for Nathan's birthday present so close to Christmas. Uncle Seb and I decided just to ask him what he wants.

Auntie Sue: "Nathan, what do you want for your birthday?"
Nathan: "Cake"
Me: "What toys do you want for your birthday?"
Nathan: "Presents"
Me: "What kind of presents? That Auntie Sue and Uncle Seb can give you?"
Nathan: "A motorcycle toy"
Uncle Seb: "Hmmm, ok, that's doable. What else?"
Nathan: "A clam."
Me: "A clam?!"
Nathan: "Ya, you know like from the beach."

My Dog Angel

When I first got Angel when I was 17 I knew one day she'd be an old dog and have issues. I even realized she would *gasp* die. . . someday.

Well, the day has come where she has issues. About a month ago she started eating everything in sight. All the dog food, all the cat food and whatever else she could get a hold of. She gained 4.5lbs. For a 14lb dog. That's A LOT of weight. I brought her to the vet. The vet thought it sounded like Cushing's. She tested Angel for Cushings, Thyroid Disorder, Diabetes and everything else under the sun. All tests came back negative and she was released with a clean bill of health. The doctor then told me gate up the cat food, feed the dogs separately and only give her 1/2 of what she was getting to eat. I've done all that, as well as been walking her more and longer. She wasn't losing any weight.

Then about a week and a half ago Sal noticed she was getting lazier and 'dumber'. We looked closer and realized she was bumping into things, not getting out of the way when someone walked by and getting confused. I took her for a walk later and realized this dog can't see anything. I brought her back home from our walk and Sal and I tried some things and yes, it was apparent she definitely could NOT see anything.

I again brought her to the vet who had no idea what this might be or why it was happening. She also gained another pound in the month I had her on a strict diet and been walking her like crazy. She referred us to the Dog Ophthalmologist. I called them and made an appointment for the next day.

The Ophthalmologist said she has SARDS. Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome. They aren't sure what causes it (like cancer) but before dogs get it, they show signs of Cushings. He confirmed she has 100% vision loss and will never regain her sight again.

I realize this is just a dog but I'm having a real hard time with it. I cannot watch her bash her head on walls, curbs or chairs. It rips me up. I know this sounds dumb, but when I was younger there were many times when I could have gone out with friends (to get in trouble, or do things I should NOT have been doing) but needed to get home to feed/walk/take care of the dog. Whatever it may have been, I went home, not out, to act like an idiot. I have a connection and a deep bond with Angel that I have never had with an animal before. She was like my first baby, and to watch her go through this is killing me. I realize she is not in any pain, but she just looks so lost and so confused. She follows me around like a sad puppy who cannot find her way. Because well, she can't find her way anymore. The doctor told me she would adjust and dogs do adjust pretty quickly, but I am afraid with our busy house (and the new baby on the way) its going to make things that much harder on her.

(from left to right)

Dusty, Cheyanne, Angel & Kiehloe

Eating a Greenie Bone

Cheyanne's First Haircut

Shy's hair has been looking really scraggly and needing a trim badly so we decided to bring her in. She wasn't scared in the least bit and was super excited since she has been watching Nathan get hair cuts her whole life. Sal and I were a little reluctant, but we decided this was OK as long as NO BANGS. No offense to anyone reading this. We just didn't want bangs.  Her hair is still long and now has some shape.

Here we go

 

Seasoned Pro

 

OMG, this involves scissors?!

 

 

 

That's it....A whole 1 1/2 inches

 

Imagination Movers Concert

Last weekend we went to see the New Orleans kid band (now on Disney Channel) Imagination Movers. The show lasted an hour and a half and was awesome! We have been fans of the Movers for about 2 years now and seeing them in concert was great. I must admit, I actually like their music too. Its a bluesy/jazzy/hop hoppy theme and sometimes they take adult songs and make them into kid songs. (i.e. The Roosters, The Roosters, The Roosters are tired).

The area where our seats were were dead center from the stage and up a row. The people in front of us were down low so we had no problem seeing the stage and the kids had room to dance. The highlight of the concert I think was when Mover Rich ran down our isle and gave both kids a high five. It was AWESOME!

The concert rocked and afterward we went to Auntie Margie's for a yummy dinner. She lives about 10 minutes from the Fox theater. We had a great time and can't wait for their next California tour.

Mover Shy in her Wobble Goggles

Mover Nathan

He spent most of the concert like this

There they are!

Daddy Decorating the Christmas Tree

By Nathan

Kid Funny

While waiting outside Nathan's school for the doors to open. In front of all the other mom's.

Shy: Mommy, what color are your boots? Pink or Brown?
Me: They're grey, honey.
Shy: Oh, like your hair

Kid Funny

During a recent breakdown about Angel going blind - I was crying.

Shy: Why are you so sad?
Me: I'm just sad about Angel.
Shy: (fake crying) Mommy, I'm sad that Angel walks with her eyes closed too.

DONE!!!

Cheyanne is officially potty trained.

Innocent Heart Murmur - Update

After Nathan's doctor appointment today the doctor determined that the murmur is in fact innocent. I trust him. He seriously listened to Nathan's heart for a good (silent) 10 minutes in all different positions. They also did an EKG. He said Nathan's murmur goes away when he sits or stands up. I feel confident in this doctors analysis and feel I can relax now.


Questions:

What is a heart murmur?
Its is a sound produced by the blood flowing through the heart. The blood flowing through the heart creates turbulence or vibrations that often, especially in children, will produce and audible sound. It is usually so soft that it can only be heard by putting the stethoscope on the child's chest.

What is an innocent heart murmur?
These are terms used to describe heart murmurs of no significance. There are sometimes called physiological or functional.

Why did it happen?
This results from turbulence in blood flow. It is not hereditary and it was not 'caused'.

What does it do to the heart?
Nothing.

How does it affect him?
It doesn't.

Can it be fixed?
There is no problem to be fixed. He will most likely outgrow it.

What should the parents do?
Treat the child normally. All children have functional heart murmurs at one time or another.

Thanksgiving In Seattle

This year we flew up to Seattle to spend Thanksgiving with Auntie Bonnie, Nick & Pat, Poppi & Margie and Mark Jr & fam. The kids had a great time with their cousins and didn't want to leave when it was time.

Seattle was beautiful this time of year. We stayed at the Red Lion which was in the heart of downtown and within walking distance to pretty much everything. All the holiday lights were up and it only really rained 1 day we were there. It was VERY cold though. The temp didn't get above 45. Since our hotel was in the heart of everything, there were events happening right out in front all week. The day after Thanksgiving there was a 2hr long Macy's parade complete with floats and costumes and marching bands. We were also able to watch a 5k race as well as a full marathon. Right in front of our hotel!

After the parade we stood in a 2hr line to visit Santa at Nordstrom. The kids held it together pretty well until the end. This year Cheyanne didn't cry when we met him. She did however refuse to sit on his lap. Thank goodness for rocking horses. They let her sit on a horse next to him.

We were able to take a ferry to Bainbridge Island but we went around dinner time so it was too dark to sight see. It was still lots of fun. We also went to the Seattle zoo. It was huge and had some awesome animals. The Tapirs were a big hit. (Made famous by Diego). The zoo also had a huge indoor park called Zoomasium. I guess in Seattle you have to have some sort of indoor place for the kids.

Tapir

Bug eyed

Thanksgiving -

Terrible pic of me, but everyone else looks cute

We were on the 15th floor in our hotel

Fondue

We stopped at a "Pea in the Pod" store and in the dressing rooms

they actually had maternity bellies to try on.

This is the place where they throw the fish

This thing was so gross and Nathan wouldn't stop poking his finger in its eye socket

If Sal and I Should Go Before Our Time

If, heaven forbid, anything happens to Sal and I, please contact (my aunt) for a copy of our wills as well as directions for the kids and pets:

Attorney Cheryl G. Anderson
Commerce Building
900 Lafayette Street St. 706
Santa Clara, CA 95050

Office: 408.247.6500
Fax: 408.985.9042

email: cgattorney@aol.com
web: http://www.cganderson.com/

Airplane Kid Funny

During take-off on the plane to Seattle Cheyanne was looking out the window. We were right next to the wing.

Shy: Mommy, when are the wings going to start flapping?

Innocent Heart Murmur

I just finished reading a book called "Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Weiner. Good book, I recommend it to any mother.

In it there is a chapter where one of the babies in the book has a strange sounding heart murmur. They immediately refer him to a Pediatric Cardiologist and do further testing. Turns out the baby had a small hole in his heart that would close up on his own, however, can you imagine the hell the mother must have gone through not knowing what was wrong with her babies heart? I of course (all hormonal) started crying and comparing him to my kids. . .

While I realize this book is fiction, it obviously hit home with me. Especially since we just had Nathan's well baby check and the murmur was brought up again. Why didn't my doctor refer Nathan to a specialist? Why did she just dismiss it and 'make a note'? What is a stupid note going to if something serious happens to him?

I decided not to take "no" for an answer and wrote to his doctor. It took a polite firmness, but I was able to get a referral out of her to Pediatric Cardiology. I don't know when our appointment is, they are supposed to call me soon.

Being that this is my child's heart I am not leaving anything to chance. I refuse to be told no, and demand testing that will prove that this is in fact an innocent murmur. I am not sure why it took so long for me to do something about this because of course its always been on the back of my mind. I think my whole life I have just trusted doctors. Why not? They are doctors. They put in the time at medical school, they must know what they are talking about. Since meeting my friend Kim and hearing to her story about Kaiser and her sister in law. (Long story but the gist is, Kaiser failed to diagnose a heart condition and she ended up have a heart attack at 30 and is now in a coma. She left behind 2 young children and a husband). I feel that doctors are human and can make mistakes. I do plan to push for anything I don't feel is right. This is just the beginning. I don't care if I sound like a paranoid mother. There is nothing paranoid about loving your children and making sure they get the best possible care.

UPDATE: About 20 minutes after I wrote this the Pediatric Cardiologist called. We have an appointment December 1st.

Nathan 4 Year Stats

We recently brought Nathan in for his 4 year well baby check up. I know its early, but I thought I needed the doctor to sign off on a work permit (for the modeling agency) so I made the appointment. Turns out she didn't need to sign off and we didn't need it anyway.

His stats are:
41.7 lbs (89% for his age group)
3ft 4in. (66% for his age group)

In the last year he has put on 3.5 lbs and has grown 2.5 inches.

He is in perfect health except for having an 'innocent heart murmur'. This apparently is common in children and he will most likely grow out of it.

He also has the Thalassemia trait. To be more specific he has 'One-Gene Beta-Thalassemia'. He inherited this from Sal's side of the family. Interestingly enough, Sal is NOT a carrier (meaning he does NOT posses the trait). His mother, twin brother as well as a handful of cousins do have the trait though. With good diet and nutrition he is in the clear and will never become seriously ill or need to monitor it. However, when he does want to have children if the woman he wants to have babies with IS a carrier they will most likely choose not to have kids. If they do choose to kids together the baby will have moderate to severe symptoms of anemia. (For the record, Cheyanne also has the trait).

The last thing is, his extra large adenoids that will most likely have to be removed at a later date if he doesn't grow into them. Right now they pose no problem but can cause breathing problems and sore throats among other things.

Preschool Thanks

Nathan's teachers gave us a sheet of paper today titled "Tiny Tot Quotes, November 2009".
Some of the quotes were so cute. I had to share.

His teacher asked them "What are you most thankful for"

Here are some of the answers:
dress up
playdough
dinosaurs
Buster, a dog
cameras
Ma
mouse, mouses squeak

Nathan's answer was "Mommy" ♥

Nathan Doodles

"Daddy at Work With His Hammer"

(pointing to the middle) "This is Far Far In"


(from left to right)
"Nathan on Daddy's head, Mommy, new baby and Shy"

Kid Funny

While getting the kids' shoes on to leave for the park.

Me: "Shy, you need to wear socks with your sneakers cause if you don't you'll get stinky feet."
Shy: "Ew!! Like Daddy?!"
Me: "Yes, sort of like Daddy."
Nathan (yelling from the other room): "No, not like Daddy! Like the cheese Poppy eats."

You Make Me Smile

This is a song recently put out by Uncle Kracker. It is about his daughter and every word of it I can personally dedicate to my kiddos because they me ME smile :)

The Lizard House

If you have read my posts since the beginning of this blog, you know we have had some episodes with Dusty bringing in severed lizard tails. Apparently, he can't catch the lizard but is fast enough to get the tail. Well, that has all changed.

In the last 2 weeks I have -
Found a large tailless lizard while vacuuming the house. It was hiding under Sal's slipper in the living room.
Found another small lizard tail in the play room
The day after that found the tailless baby lizard in the playroom. It almost ran into my pocket of my sweatshirt.
Found another baby lizard (smaller than the first) under my laundry basket in my room. It was playing 'possum'.

Dusty must have stumbled upon a lizard home in the backyard somewhere and totally reeked havoc. I understand its nature and am quite glad these aren't birds he's bringing in however, I wish he'd just keep them outside.

Pregnancy #3

This pregnancy is NOT agreeing with me.

When I got pregnant with Nathan, it was such a breeze, I didn't even know until I was 9 weeks. Naive and stupid. Yes. Who cares, I was 23 and things are perfect now. The whole thing was symptom-free. The only thing I did have was swelling in the ankles. I attribute that to a rapid weight gain of 65lbs though. I had the mentality, "I'm pregnant, I can eat what I want". Big mistake. But I enjoyed it.

When I got pregnant with Cheyanne it was 'sort of' a surprise. We were not, not trying. I knew right away and it was a pretty easy pregnancy all in all. I got food poisoning once, and the stomach flu another time, but that had nothing to do with the pregnancy. The end was really uncomfortable but we were having heat waves at the end of April and I had a 9.5lb baby in my belly! That is uncomfortable!

This pregnacy.....ugh....It is week 10. Starting week 5 I was sick. Sick. Sick. Oh, and exhausted. I should have known this was coming because the day I found out I was pregnant I threw up at the gym. That was the only throw up though. It has just been on the verge. And no its not in the morning, its ALL DAY LONG. ALL NIGHT LONG. THEN ALL DAY AGAIN. Then I started craving oranges. Really really bad. I was drinking a 1/2 gallon of OJ a day and eating about 5 oranges a day. I started taking vitamin B6 also. My doctor recommended it. This was all I could do to get through the day until week 9. Last week, I felt almost normal. I was able to get to the gym and was in a good mood. Things were looking up. Then last night all at once, it was back. The nausea. I have been nauseous all day again.
Not only do I feel nauseous but I am so tired. I have been taking naps everyday and going to bed at 8:30 - 9 and sleeping until 7.
On top of those things, I am moody. So moody. I'm so happy one minute and crying at a commercial the next. Then I'm so mad, I can't see straight.
Wait, there's more.
My hormones are so out of whack, I feel greasy. Greasy! This should NOT be a symptom of pregnancy. PMS maybe, but not pregnancy. I'm bloated and huge already in all the wrong places. I'm even sore already.
Why do I have every symptom in the book? Is this some cruel joke to make up for the easiness of the other pregnancies?
On another note we find out the gender Jan. 4. Stay tuned.

Halloween 2009

Last Halloween we were in a town house and on a block of townhouses right on the boarder of West San Jose. Not the friendliest neighbors and not many single family houses. We walked forever to find decent candy and decent people. There was even one woman who was mad at my dog for peeing on her bush in her yard, and started to bark and growl at him - Like I said, not the friendliest neighbors. My mom came along, but it still was lacking.
Last year Halloween was 'eh'.

This year we are in the heart of Campbell on a quiet, tree lined street. There are kids in just about every house on my block. We were able to walk down our block alone and have the kids buckets half way full. Just about every house on our block and beyond was decorated. Some to the extreme. One house actually made Cheyanne cry. (In her defense, there was a scary guy that totally freaked me out for a second too). My mom and Uncle Robert came down to trick-or- treat with us. This year Halloween rocked!

Officer Colhour

Simba

Officer Colhour and Armed and Dangerous Prisoner Colhour

Zoo Animals (my mom is the zebra)

He was actually a wear wolf, not Uncle Fester

Nathan's Preschool Halloween Party

Every 20 classes at Nathan's school, a parent must participate for the 2 hours. They are required to bring snack and juice. When we signed up for our parent day, Sal wanted Halloween. He was able to stay the whole time and see all the kiddies in their costumes.

The Class + Miss Tiffany


Nathan and a few of his buddies

They got walk down to the office and go trick-or-treating

Halloween songs for the office people

Models Inc. NO!

Models Inc. called for another meeting with me. Only me, no kids and it was on a Tuesday at noon. Thank goodness my sister was available to babysit, or there would have been no meeting.
Basically it was an information meeting. Information about how a Talent Agency works, who their big clients are and the industry.

We have decided NOT to proceed with this. Here's why:

• Almost all the audition are in SF. That is an hour drive from my house.
• You can only bring the auditioning child. No siblings. Where am I going to find a babysitter at short notice during the middle of the day?
• Most shoots can last up to 5 hours. 5 hours in a small stuffy studio with a small child bored to death? Uh, no.
• They only give you one day notice of when and where you need to be. Per contract if you don't show up, you get charged. I babysit Carly 2 days a week. That is NOT ample time for me to cancel on her mom (who I have a contract with anyway).
• For this particular agency, you HAVE to start a portfolio. The book itself to start the portfolio is $100. Each. I'd have to buy 2.
• Again for this particular agency, they require you to start your portfolio with copies of your head shots. You can only use their specified photographers and a shoot is about $350. Each.
• If the child makes over $600/year they have to file an income tax return. Too much hassle.

We decided this is not us. Its too much of a commitment and too disruptive to our days. We love being together (Nathan, Shy and I) during the days. I/we would hate to have to leave one of them with a babysitter all day once a week or so. Plus, with me babysitting Carly I can't drop everything at a moments notice to drive to SF for the day.

Also with baby #3 on the way. That would mean I'd be leaving my newborn with a babysitter while I brought a big kid off to an audition. No way in hell.

We feel honored that they would even want our kids to work for them. But for now, the park just seems more fun.

Choomi Fairy

Since the Talent Agency recommended it and since Cheyanne is almost 2 1/2, we decided it was time for the Choomi Fairy. I asked Cheyanne if she would like to mail all her choomi's to the Choomi Fairy. I told her she can put them in the envelope, put the stamp on and drop them in the mailbox all by herself. She was surprisingly on board.

We did a search all over the house and gathered up all her choomis. Then we loaded up the envelope. I wrote on it "To Choomi Fairy. Fm Cheyanne. I don't need these anymore I am a big girl". She stuck a stamp on it and off we went to the Post Office. She dropped them in the mailbox herself.

Then we went to Toys R Us for a new cuddle toy for night time since choomis are gone. She knew she was only getting this toy because she was such a big girl and mailed her choomis. She picked a new baby doll.

Everything was fine until night time. The first night she asked and cried a little for her choomi, but when she did, I showed her the picture we took of her with the Choomi Fairy envelope and that seemed to calm her down. Knowing the Choomi Fairy was taking good care of them in a special treasure box made her feel better.

Today is day 5 and she hasn't even mentioned them since that first night. I never want to forget the determination she had when it came time to give up something she loved so much. She knew it had to be done even though it was going to be really hard. She set her mind to it and did it and didn't think twice about it.

2 years 5 months